I'm currently reading Confessions of an Economic Hit Man and it has made me realize how much I have changed in the past year. Corporatacracy should make me angry and surprised, but it doesn't and I'm not.

I've become far more conservative than I am comfortable with me being. It is largely a result of the brainwashing I've received from theory based political science courses. Realism got to me. I used to be so much more of a constructivist. It's scary how malleable my mind is.

I need to read more current events books to make me angry again.

I've decided I'm either going to China or Thailand this summer depending on the amount of financial resources I can accumulate. I'm just going to do it and not think about it. This is the first step to a more proactive me.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I constantly switch from being incredibly angry at the world to completely apathetic.

It started with the "don't trust coke" written all over the elevator walls. I don't understand why anyone would find that necessary. It just makes the school uglier. What really set me off was the "war is terrorism" written all over the soldier recruitment posters and I don't I agree with the government's decision to extend our stay in Afghanistan. I find it incredibly disrespectful towards the soldiers who have died and those that are currently fighting in Afghanistan.

Five minutes later I'm back to feeling empty. I should really go to the doctor's to see if it is a hormone imbalance that is causing this depression.

Exam time always makes me introspective, but chatting with an old high school friend has forced me to face the fact that I’m not happy. I haven’t been happy in a really long time. I don’t know if I’ve ever really been happy.

I feel like I have no purpose in life. I feel stuck and I don’t know what I want to do with my life. In the past, self-reflection has always resulted in retail therapy. Instead of dealing with my problems, I always ended up shopping. I always dislike what I find so I don’t confront my problems. Retail therapy is the easier and more immediate solution.

I’m a coward. I’ve known that about myself for a really long time, but I’ve never taken action. I can’t keep on living in this state of perpetual fear. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore. I dislike the person I see. I’m afraid of everything. I’m so scared of failing that I never truly try at anything. My attempts have always been half-hearted. Running into this friend has made me realize that I’ve never really lived. I’m always running away from life which is all about risks. I’m tried of running. I have no skills. No personality. No real friends. I hate this person I’ve become. How can anyone else like me when I don’t even like myself?

The first step is to get away from here. It’s too safe and I always end up chickening out. I need a new environment, somewhere I can’t hide. I need to take a trip somewhere to find myself. I need to figure out who I am and what I want. I’ve always wanted to go to Africa, but I just don’t have the financial resources to do that at the moment.

A perfect world is one filled wih happy people. There's no war, no famine, no torture and no exploitation. There's no global warming. The skies are bright blue. The trees are really green. The air is fresh. It's peaceful. There's enough conflict to keep thing's interesting, but no so much that there's bloodshed or suffering. Everyone has access to an education and health care. People respect and embrace different cultures and religions. There's no discrimination. People are healthy and active. Human beings no longer eat meat. People can shop to their heart's content without any awful consequences.

Something that involves travelling around the world and learning about new cultures, but at the same time incorporates my passion for human rights

I'd allow myself to truly, deeply, and completely care about another person.